Place: IHOP, The International House of Pancakes, on Gateway Blvd/Calgary Trail
The Council recognizes the guest Waffler: Pete the Patient Pirate. Bill and Veronica were joined by Pete to attend the International House of Pancakes after Google reconnaissance revealed that there was indeed a Belgian waffle on this pancake house menu.
Three coffees, three waffles, and the traditional side of bacon were ordered and the council began their noble task. On every table the International House of Pancakes provides a stainless steel carafe of coffee and four types of syrup; included are an old fashioned syrup, blueberry syrup, raspberry syrup, and a butter pecan syrup. Veronica utilized the four quadrants of the round waffle to sample each type of syrup with butter. Both Veronica and Bill noted that IHOP was stingy on the butter portions though Pete countered stating that it was a satisfactory helping of butter. Veronica was particularly critical of these waffles, more critical than Bill even. She reported that the blueberry and raspberry syrups were no good and too sickly sweet and the old-fashioned and butter pecan were O.K. She noted that the biggest failure of this waffle was that is was unevenly cooked. Critical Bill noted that the bacon was excellent value but the carafe supplied coffee was wildly over priced considering its stale drip coffee taste.
Critical Bill and Pete the Patient Pirate: 3.5/5
And now a message from Mitch Hedberg about pancakes:
Place: Albert’s on 99th Street (again)
When: Summer 2015 The International Supreme Council of Waffles (ISCoW) believes in the quest for the best waffle but as we are only human we acknowledge, for the love of waffles, that sometimes when the craving strikes it is best to satisfy the craving with a reliable source.
Sly and Bill returned to Albert’s on 99th in hope of recreating the simple golden crisp yet fluffy waffle they enjoyed before (with generous serving of bacon). However, Bill and Sly were left somewhat disappointed. The Council recognizes these collective comments, “the inside was soft, too moist.” An important lesson was gleaned; consistency is an essential attribute in the quest for the best waffle.
And Critical Bill made the closing remarks,
“why is the middle of my waffle so soft when the rest of my life is so hard.”
Place: Albert’s on 99th Street, Edmonton AB
Wafflers: founding members Critical Bill and Sly
When: Mid-March 2015
Sly and Bill met during Sly’s staycation for a much deserved mid-week-waffle-Wednesday meeting of the International Supreme Council of Waffles. The experience opened with classic diner décor, the ironic impersonal but friendly wait staff, and shitty drip coffee that no diner should be without. Based on the agreed merits of the waffle*, this meeting of the council was simple, quiet, and pleasant. Critical Bill reports, “no complaints, light and crispy waffle” and Sly’s remarks were, “whipped butter is always a bonus.” (note: the waffle was served plain, to the council’s approval, with butter and syrup, not as picture above). It was at this meeting that the side of bacon was added to the Waffle order. Though, no proclamation was decreed it was silently understood that the side of bacon would accompany future waffles, permitted by availability. The council would like to note that given the simplicity of the Albert’s waffle it was a bit pricey but the bacon helping was plentiful.
This waffle experience might be reminiscent of the simpler time that Bill longs for.