Exposing Critical Bill To A New Concept

The Common
November 15th, 2016

Fun Time Douglas, Critical Bill, and Magnum PI set out on a cool November night for dinner and ended up at the hip downtown joint: The Common. Chicken and waffles was on the menu and Bill revealed that he’s never had the classic, and suddenly trendy, combination of fried chicken and waffles. So, here we go…

This post is going be done in Critical Bill’s own style: brief, no bullshit, and full of expletives.

Critical Bill: Waffle ok. Best when hot, the quality disintegrated with time. Whatever the fuck that berry shit was it was good. Chicken ok. Juicy. Butter was top flight. Combo of all the components was pretty tasty. Maybe not sold on the concept and my cocktail went all wrong! Company kept was superb. Wouldn’t have my waffles any other way than with good fucking company.

Fun Time Douglas: it was too dark to take a picture of the waffles. Just imagine a round waffle cut into it’s quadrants, stacked on their side, served with two pieces of fried chicken, a pad of butter placed on top, and that “berry shit*” on the side (*a blackberry compote, I think, and it was in fact quite good).

Fun Time Douglas agrees that the combination of flavours was pretty tasty with the juicy chicken raising the profile of this waffle.

Our guest, Magnum PI, commented: it was just a pleasure to behold the ISCoW founding members at work.

3.6/5 – Fun Time Douglas
3.3.3/5 Critical Bill also shown as 3.299999

The Spirit of the Waffle

A Friendly Waffle Off

In the early Spring of 2015, Fun Time Douglas was invited to judge two waffles in “The Spirit of the Waffle Competition” (qtd. Josh Wild Card Black). Jojo and J-Dog prepared their batter, toppings, and provided their own waffle irons. This was truly Iron Chef Edmonton, in Jojo’s 123rd Street apartment and I was the Chairperson. So, representing the International Supreme Council of Waffles (ISCoW) I drafted my rating rubric to establish the playing field. The friendly competitors were not informed of the criteria beforehand to uphold their waffle creativity.

The Waffles that were prepared are:

  • J-Dog: The Pina Colada: the batter contained coconut and was topped with a coconut cream and pineapple sauce
  • Jojo: Vegan Banana Caramel: a banana based batter waffle that was topped with a caramel sauce and fresh blueberry jam

Each waffle was tasted with the creator’s desired presentation and toppings and judged based on its entirety. Then the waffles were also tasted with only butter and syrup as toppings and judged as a control-variable-waffle.

The results:

J-Dog’s Pina Colada Waffle:

  • Colour: Golden 5/5
  • Outside Texture: Crispy 5/5
  • Inside Texture: Fluffy 4/5
  • Overall Flavour: Coconut is a win 5/5
  • Toppings: 5/5
  • Butter/Syrup: very good waffle iron, deep pockets for delivery 5/5

Jojo’s Vegan Banana Caramel Waffle:

  • Colour: Warm Brown 4/5
  • Outside Teture: Crisp but not light 4/5
  • Inside Texture: Banana made it soft and moist 3/5
  • Overall flavour: Complimentary flavours 5/5
  • Butter/Syrup: butter was delicious, like on banana bread 5/5

J-Dog’s Pina Colada: 29/30

Jojo’s Vegan Banana Caramel: 25/30

Both performed exceptionally. But it was the crispy golden outside, fluffy inside, and excellent butter/syrup vehicular properties that made J-Dog’s a success. Though, J-Dog almost lost points for smack-talk. Jojo maintained her quiet confidence and was not goaded by J-Dog’s barbs. She was a most gracious of hosts.

ISCoW thanks KPop, Space-Cate, & Josh Wild Card Black for their participation in this friendly waffle off.

Both Jojo and J-Dog presented creative and tasty waffles that will be forever remembered by the International Supreme Council of Waffles.

Fun Time Douglas, signing off.